FTS Archive: Humor

Face The State humor columns and editorial cartoons, 2007-2009

Political Cartoon for 10/7: Stryker's Angels
October 7, 2008
Documents obtained by Face The State detail a complex network of liberal groups and "operatives" under the umbrella of the Colorado Democracy Alliance. Join in on the antics with the covert members of an elite squad we call, "Stryker's Angels."
FTS Humor: My Name is Mark Udall, and I'm an Elkaholic
October 5, 2008
By Andrew Ripemoff Let’s say you are an elk, (work with me here people), and not only are you an elk, but you’re a responsible, conscientious citizen elk, who is currently undecided about the U.S. Senate race and the various ballot issues upcoming here in your native state...
Political cartoon for 9/29: Ritter's legacy?
September 29, 2008
With state government embroiled in a growing budget crunch, labor unions on the march and a spotty record on government transparency, Gov. Bill Ritter is creating for himself a colorful legacy, indeed. Ritter insists his November executive order opening the state to collective bargaining had no role in creating today's political standoff between business and organized labor. Is the state's chief executive taking a page from the playbook of Nero, the emperor who "fiddled while Rome burned"?
FTS Humor: Tonight's homework assignment: Destroy Sarah Palin
September 26, 2008
If you’re a student who wears a shirt critical of Barack Obama, you’ll get suspended. This is something you definitely don’t want to happen, because then you’ll probably fall behind on very important homework assignments - such as the one where you’re supposed to write an essay tearing apart Sarah Palin.
Political Cartoon for 9/19: Appeasement, chamber style
September 19, 2008
Denver Metro Chamber of Commerce president Joe Blake is deeply involved in negotiations with Gov. Bill Ritter and bosses of the state's biggest unions. Will Blake sell out the business community in a pact with big labor? Before following through, he may want to study up on how well appeasement worked for British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain.
FTS Humor: The Southern Ooo-Tay Indian Tribe, Maine Democrats, & Other Musings
September 18, 2008
By Andrew Ripemoff An interesting week here in one of those big square swing states. The Messiah insulted a Native American tribe, Rocky Mountain News reporters got pimp slapped by their own editor, and Joan Fitz-Gerald has decided that losing the primary campaign may be a pretty good reason to close campaign headquarters.
Political Cartoon for 9/12: A pig is a pig
September 12, 2008
Face The State's cartoonist, Milton, puts a new spin on a suddenly popular phrase.
FTS Humor: CSAP For Politicos: Can You Pass?
September 11, 2008
By Andrew Ripemoff This is only a test. But don't worry. If you fail, please feel free to call your union representative to discuss any way that this test may have been discriminatory (held too early in the morning; a federally-approved meal not provided, our small print violated ADA guidelines, etc.). Here at Face The State, we pride ourselves on teaching to the test, so better luck next time.
FTS Humor: Barack, Biden, barbeque, and beauty queens
September 5, 2008
By Andrew Ripemoff With their candidate ascending into the heavens, the DNC concluded religious services last week. The Greek Temple has been dismantled. The temporary holding cells have been moved. Mark Warner’s speech is almost over.
Political Cartoon for 9/5: Markey's campaign cash
September 5, 2008
Betsy Markey, a Democrat challenging incumbent Rep. Marilyn Musgrave, made a substantial contribution to her own campaign, despite declaring two weeks before not to spend any of her own money. A federal disclosure document suggests that the funds could have come from the sale of oil and gas stock. FTS cartoonist Milton imagines what a campaign fundraiser looks like.
FTS Humor: Dem' Sure are Some Crazy People
August 28, 2008
By Andrew Ripemoff Day three here at the DNC, and you can smell the excitement in the air. Then again, that may be body odor from the protesters, because from my limited experience, we can add "deodorant" to the litany of items they’re boycotting.
Political Cartoon: The Messiah Cometh
August 25, 2008
Democrat candidate for president Barack Obama comes to Denver Thursday to accept his party's nomination. But preparations for the event at Invesco Field point to a coronation rather than a convention.
FTS Humor: An open letter to those of you here for the DNC
August 21, 2008
By Andrew Ripemoff On behalf of my fellow Colorado conservatives, let us be the first to welcome you to Denver. I know what you’re thinking, but please hear me out. Just because we’re a libertarian-leaning news site doesn’t mean we can’t be friendly to our leftist guests. We want to welcome you with open arms to our fair city.
FTS Humor: The Week in Poli(s)tics
August 14, 2008
By Andrew Ripemoff So much to ridicule this week, so little time. Let’s start with the heated Democratic primary battle for the 2nd Congressional District, where all three pacifist candidates surprisingly turned out to be in favor of war. Not war against terrorists mind you, just against fellow democrats.
Political Cartoon for 8/8: The new "Obama Girl"
August 8, 2008
You've seen the "Obama Girl" in her viral Internet video, singing about her crush on the photogenic Democrat presidential candidate. Now, she's got some competition from right here in Colorado in our very own Gov. Bill Ritter.
FTS Humor: On The Wray Toward Energy Independence
August 7, 2008
By Andrew Ripemoff I finally figured out how to get rich. I’m going to make my own late night TV infomercial. I’ve got the script and everything: Attention, Attention, Attention! We have a truckload of carbon credits that must be sold NOW! Everything must go. Everything!
Political Cartoon for 8/1: Mark Udall's Day Off
August 1, 2008
At a debate taped last Friday, Democrat candidate for U.S. Senate, Mark Udall, promised to vote against a motion to adjourn the U.S. House of Representatives until the that body passed a federal energy bill. Udall missed the vote. Perhaps he's been watching too many John Hughes films?
FTS Humor: A day at the pump
July 31, 2008
By Andrew Ripemoff "This pump here is what we call the oil shale pump. You see, we have 800 billion barrels of oil in Western Colorado that we could be using. But since Mark Udall blocks leases and development at the Naval Oil Shale Reserve near Rifle, oil companies can’t extract it. This raises the price of gas."
Political Cartoon for 7/25: DNC Culture
July 25, 2008
The Colorado Coalition for the Homeless has announced it will provide at least 500 free tickets to area cultural attractions to its clients for use during the Democratic National Convention next month. Will Denver's downtrodden enjoy high culture while liberals party down?
FTS Humor: R.T.Disaster
July 24, 2008
By Andrew Ripemoff "RTD has a well-demonstrated history of developing projects within their projected budgets and time schedules." Before you start laughing, wait. You're a little too eager. This isn't the punch line, rather it's actual wording from a resolution unanimously passed by the Boulder City Council on May 18th, 2004, in support of an RTD tax increase.