FTS Archive: Humor

Face The State humor columns and editorial cartoons, 2007-2009

FTS Humor: Can you hack it?
August 10, 2009
The Denver Post reported recently that resumes had poured in for the vacant assistant press secretary position for Colorado Senate Democrat caucus. A highly-placed mole at the state capitol has relayed to us a transcript of one of the interviews. The scene: A lazy Tuesday afternoon, where State Senate President Brandon Shaffer reads through some resumes, feet on his desk.
FTS Humor: Another skirmish in the War on Poverty
August 1, 2009
By Andrew Ripemoff We have some good economic news to report. That Mercedes you've always wanted is now within reach. That’s right: Colorado lawmakers have formed a committee to reduce poverty.
Political cartoon for 7/27: Schumer & Co.
July 27, 2009
The Washington Post's Dana Milbank reports Colorado's appointed junior U.S. Sen. Michael Bennet sought permission from New York's Chuck Schumer before voting "yes" on a measure last week that would have strengthened rights to carry concealed weapons across state lines. Who's really calling the shots for Colorado's Senate delegation?
FTS Humor: Perlmutterings
July 24, 2009
By Andrew Ripemoff Even as someone who didn’t vote for Bill Ritter, I have to admit that my heart was filled with regional pride upon seeing the governor of my state invited to our nation’s capitol, to the United States Senate, on national TV and everything, afforded the opportunity to suck up to that annoying Barbara Boxer. Mr. Ritter was there to share his economic expertise with our nation’s lawmakers. And why not? Let’s be fair: If you really want a serious, bi-partisan roadmap towards creating jobs and improving the economy while solving a budget crisis, you will take note of what Governor Ritter is doing here in Colorado.
FTS Humor: Shocking! People Don’t Like Higher Fees
July 17, 2009
By Andrew Ripemoff Lots of surprising, attention-grabbing headlines in the news lately, starting with this recent one from the Denver Post: NEW COLORADO AUTO FEES STIR SHOCK, ANGER The story concerns the public’s reaction to the July 1st implementation of the Democrats' FASTER legislation. Amazingly, it turns out that some people - get this - don’t like sending more of their money to government.
Political cartoon for 7/9: Ward needs a J-O-B
July 9, 2009
A Denver judge ruled this week that disgraced former Prof. Ward Churchill is not entitled to reinstatement at the University of Colorado, nor will he collect a monetary settlement. Churchill must now find gainful employment, but he may have to look outside academia for his next gig.
FTS Humor: Colorado Democrats' tribute to Michael Jackson
July 3, 2009
By Andrew Ripemoff The funeral of Michael Jackson is scheduled for July 7, and millions of mourners are trying to cope. What does this have to do with political news? Well, I couldn’t thing of anything else to write about. Besides, in 2002, the King of Pop sang at a Democratic National Committee fundraiser. So, in light of MJ’s fondness for democrats, we thought it would be appropriate to honor him with a Colorado Democratic slant on some his more popular hits. (For best effect, snap your fingers while singing.)
FTS Humor: Dome On the Range
June 29, 2009
By Andrew Ripemoff When I said back in January that Colorado Democrats would cause a lot of damage at the state house, I was speaking rhetorically. But it turns out they ARE causing damage. Real, physical, neglect-induced harm. I’m talking about the golden dome. A dome built in 1894 with gold added in 1908. A tall beaming source of pride for all Coloradans. A unique, functional symbol of Colorado history that has made it through 115 years, but may not make it through the Ritter administration.
Political cartoon for 6/25: Mr. Oliver, union rep
June 25, 2009
Despite recent news the state will be short $384 million for the coming fiscal year, unions are ratcheting up the pressure for increases in wages and benefits. Colorado WINS, a consortium of 3 public-sector labor organizations "representing" state workers, piled on to news of the shortfall with tin cup in hand. "Please, sir, I want some more."
FTS Humor: The Buck Stops Here...Sort of
June 13, 2009
By Andrew Ripemoff As any experienced political campaign strategist will tell you, every time an anonymous person defends their candidate by posting in the comments section of a political blog, it immediately translates into an 5-7% jump in the polls.
Political cartoon for 6/12: Ritter kicks back
June 12, 2009
Gov. Bill Ritter recently named Don Elliman to the newly-created position of Chief Operating Officer for the state, tasked with overseeing Colorado's use of federal stimulus money. Critics question the need for a new high-paying government position, saying Ritter should be protecting the taxpayers' interest in the normal course of his duties. In his usual no-holds-barred style, FTS cartoonist Milton takes a look at the internal politicking behind the appointment and Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper's recent announcement he would not launch a primary challenge against Ritter.
FTS Humor: Morse Code
June 5, 2009
By Andrew Ripemoff In an effort to duplicate the wildly successful California budget process, Governor Bill Ritter signed into law on Tuesday a bill repealing Colorado’s Arveschoug-Bird Amendment.
FTS Humor: Congratulations, graduates
June 1, 2009
By Gov. Bill Ritter, Jr. Welcome, members of the class of 2009, and thank you for wanting me to speak to you today. I’m sure this invitation was based solely on my prestigious role as the leader of this state, and not because your college president is trying to suck up for more education funding.
Political cartoon for 5/31: Bennet's out-of-state dough
May 31, 2009
A Denver Post analysis of U.S. Sen. Michael Bennet's first quarter fundraising shows less than half of his donations came from Colorado. Face The State cartoonist Milton asks, who needs in-state support when New York and California can deliver the goods?
FTS HUMOR: State of the Unions
May 22, 2009
By Andrew Ripemoff There have been lots of news stories lately about unions. This really isn’t a very good sign for them. You never see positive union-related headlines. Nothing like: LOCAL UNION MEMBERS SAVE LITTER OF KITTENS FROM DROWNING.
Political Cartoon: A toxic tax
May 15, 2009
Forget swine flu. Despite repeated efforts toward repeal, Colorado's "most hated" business personal property tax just won't die.
FTS Humor: White Men Can’t Jump (Into Politics)
May 15, 2009
By Andrew Ripemoff Remember the Weekly World News? You know, the tabloid that regularly ran headlines like this: ALIEN GIVES BIRTH TO 300 POUND BABY – ELVIS IS THE FATHER I think The Denver Post has hired some of those writers. One of the paper's recent front-page headlines may not have been as tantalizing as a tabloid, but it sure caught my attention.
FTS Humor: End of Session Review
May 7, 2009
By Andrew Ripemoff Here’s the opening line in a recent Denver Post story that I am not making up: "State Senators realized Tuesday that they made a boneheaded mistake..." I think this accurately describes the recently completed legislative session, which we will review below.
FTS Humor: Swine Time
May 4, 2009
By Andrew Ripemoff Personally, I am not afraid of this whole swine flu thing. Not when Governor Ritter and our state legislature is on top of it. After all, when it comes to disease-ridden pork, there is no greater authority than Colorado Democrats.
Political cartoon for 4/27: Bennet's 800-lb gorilla
April 27, 2009
Junior U.S. Sen. Michael Bennet has walked a fine line on the so-called Employee Free Choice Act, federal legislation that would do away with a requirement for secret balloting in workplace unionization elections. Given recent polling on his re-election prospects, will his silence become a liability at the polls in 2010?